Romans 12:15 says “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” It’s a beautiful verse that is often much easier said than done, especially the rejoicing part.
I thought about just listing all my favorite quotes on comparison for this blog post, but let me make this more personal and tell you how this applies to me.
I rely largely on social media to promote my brand and so I have to be on platforms like Instagram a lot. More than I would recommend actually. There are good things about it, and there are lots of bad things about it. It’s amazing how I can be feeling so good and scroll to see someone post an engagement picture or a happy anniversary tribute and my mood instantly changes.
You see, I’m divorced and those posts, the kinds about love and companionship, those really hurt. Perhaps you have posts like that? The ones that highlight those things you wish you had. It used to be really difficult for me to look at those without getting so jealous. If I’m being honest, I would resent those women in the photos. Thinking to myself how much more deserving I was of a loving relationship and criticizing everything about them. I’m ashamed to admit it, but it’s true. I wanted to make myself feel better about not having those things I desperately wanted. So I would get angry and just like that, any joy I had in my heart would depart from me.
“COMPARISON IS THE THEIF OF JOY ” – Theodore Roosevelt
Well one day I came across a picture of an old boyfriend with his new fiancé. And I did what any normal, female would do… I stalked her. 😉. Starting the comparison game all over again.
She was beautiful, she had her own business, she was a single mom of two, and she looked really happy. I wanted to hate her. I wanted to tell myself all the ways in which I might be the better choice. But the Holy Spirit whispered to me, “be happy for her”. And so, I forced myself to say OUT LOUD- “good for her”. And not in the sarcastic, good for her tone. But truly, good for her.
“Her success is not your failure.”
In that moment I made myself be her cheerleader. Truth is, if I didn’t have to hate her I’d love her. She was everything I want to be and she found love. Perhaps that means I could too, right?! So I said it again. And every time since then I will say outloud, “good for her”.
You see, that’s what true support looks like. It’s rejoicing when others rejoice, even when their victory seems to elude you. You choose to support them.
I promise if you become a cheerleader for the very women you are jealous of, it will change your heart. Comparison won’t be able to sink it’s ugly claws in you.
And if you believe in God, or kharma, or just plain ol’ good will, the blessings will come back to you. It’s just a matter of time.
Learn to say “good for her” and then good for you, friend. I’m so proud of you! xo!